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OP-UNEDITED | Sugabelly, Ancient Lies and the Thin Line Between Love and Hate

By Adewale Aladejana

Genesis 39:17 (ISV) and then this is what she told him: “That Hebrew slave whom you brought to us came in here to rape me.”

Thank God Joseph recorded what happened between him and Portiphah’s wife for posterity. Joseph would have been known as the rapist who became a prime minister.

From time immemorial, whenever any woman hates a man mostly for throwing her love back at her face, the next thing has been to accuse him of rape. This accusation sticks perfectly on any man, even a reverend father! Maybe it’s because men are seen as very sexual, we will never know but no man has ever gotten out of a rape accusation unscathed.

I remember two cases that happened while I was in Bowen University. There was this guy nicknamed Casper then and he had a girlfriend, both of them used to sneak into a block of classrooms called Alma Rohm and they would have sex, this continued for a while until they were caught pants down by the school security, next thing we knew was that the girl said she was raped and Casper was expelled.

Another was the case of a lady popularly known as ‘let’s go there’, this lady was obviously disturbed because she would approach guys at random, hug them and whisper “let’s go there”, this babe must have slept with at least 20 guys before she fell sick. At the health centre, they noticed she was bleeding and when they questioned her, she said she was raped.

The school authority stormed the boys’ hostel and paraded all the boys they could find, this girl pointed to at least 10 boys and they were all expelled; one of them was a final year student who came for summer school.

PLEASE don’t misunderstand me, there are lots of GENUINE RAPE cases I don’t just believe Sugabelly was raped.

Ever since I heard about this story, I have spent considerable time reading Sugabelly’s blog and this is what I discovered; Mustapha and co were not the first guys Sugabelly would accuse of sexual abuse, in a story on her blog called Neighbours, she talked about a 20 year old guy called Pius who sexually abused her when she was only a 7year old girl. She never met the guy after that time but she spurn a little story at the end to ‘gain closure’. We should never forget that Sugabelly is a story teller, it’s a gift.

Have you ever paused to ask; where is Sugabelly’s dad? Was she raised only by her mom? How could the curfew of a 17 year old girl be midnight? Did she tell her mum all that she had been through? Was she forced to send the nudes she talked about in the mails? Why did she keep going back???

She talked about sex in the Red Mercedes, sex in the white Altima, sex at the Mediterranean Hotel, sex at Javabean Cyber Cafe, sex at Mediterranean swimming pool and sex at Tunji’s house. It’s hard for me to believe that they forced her into all of these places!!! (Think!)

The truth is Sugabelly is a little girl looking for love but as she mentioned, she’s attracted to guys who treat her like crap like a moth is attracted to fire. How many times after Mustapha has she been treated like crap or become another guy’s side chic?

She still talked about another heartbreak she had on her blog ‘Inertia’ this was just a month ago. She talked about never having a proper boyfriend at 25 but relationships in whom she was friends with benefits. (See her post on Notes on a Quarter of a Century). She confessed that she has been more of a side chic in all her relationships.

For the past 8 years, Sugabelly has been posting cryptic messages on her relationship with Mustapha but she never went all the way like she did recently. She once said on her blog about the whole Mustapha affair “…why go back to that shit? It’s best to move forward and not look back”

Why did she decide to blow the cover? This is my opinion; I believe men have not been good to her and as much as she wants to be married with kids, a part of her hates men! On Father’s Day June 17, 2013, Sugabelly posted on her blog ‘To Daddy: Rot in Hell. Happy Fathers’ Day. On her father’s birthday on June 6, 2012 when someone wished her father a happy birthday, she said “yeah happy birthday to that asshole”

I guess her dad never accepted she was his daughter or he didn’t know because she said on her blog that she was eight years old the last time she saw him and he had no idea she was his daughter.

Mustapha whom she loved didn’t treat her nice and all the men she had slept with as friends with benefits didn’t treat her nice as well.

Another reason is envy, all the men who treated her like crap and the one whom she loved the most has the life she always wanted, Mustapha is married with three daughters. Tunji and the rest are also married to beautiful women and she hates that they have moved on and she’s single and depressed. I believe this point is justified because she put up their wedding pictures on her blog.

Another reason was because the timing was perfect. Mustapha’s dad had been trending for a couple of days and she seized the golden moment.

After reading Seven Reasons I Had Sex on Sugabelly’s blog, I am convinced this babe has no moral compass or she doesn’t just care. A little lie wouldn’t hurt a good story would it? And that is what she spurn about the rape, was she also forced to make out with the 2 women she mentioned on her blog?

She didn’t do this to speak up so she could be a voice for hurting women, this is vendetta, Arya Stark style and she wants Mustapha and co to pay for all the men who have ever treated her like crap. She loved him the most and now she hates him the most, he and his friends should be the scape goat, he is the one with the famous last name, he is the father of 3 daughters, the dirt would stick better on him than on any other man. She loved him the most, he should be the one to pay the most.

Lotanna you have it all wrong because revenge will not give you the closure you desire, you need to start by forgiving yourself. You are a beautiful, talented woman and your art is divine. You can do better and you deserve better than all these guys. You must believe you deserve to be happy rather than pitied, that is the starting point.

Adewale Aladejana, a Christian blogger, blogs at My Testimony Blog

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Inspired by Steve Biko’s ‘I Write What I Like‘, OP-UNEDITED is the citizen opinion segment of SIGNAL. All opinions posted on the OP-UNEDITED page are unedited and the raw opinions of the writers.

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There are 4 comments

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  1. Dami

    First of all Mr Christian writer who was gone all out to condemn and judge this poor girl. May you get what you deserve. Second it’s not spurn, It’s spun. you clearly already made up your mind that she’s a liar, went to her blog to find stories to justify your ridiculous standpoint and SPUN everything out of context. Kudos ‘brother’.
    It’ll be good to revisit your bible and remind yourself on the standpoint of judgement and condemnation

  2. Ade

    I will be lieing to say I didn’t enjoy your piece. I’ve avoided this story at all cost on Twitter as the opinions aren’t what I will like to dabble into but I’ve never been too sure she was raped. Like your conclusion; I truly pray she finds closure and if she truly was raped May God heal her.

  3. Jade

    Nice one brother, i see where you coming from. Sugabelly is most likely suffering from something psychological from her past and she need someone to talk to or listen to her. Lastly, where were all her friends in this episodes?

  4. Twinkle

    Am glad that someone has gone outside the box to analyze this whole saga, just like i would have analyzed it. I also believe Sugabelly needs to forgive her self FIRST before she can properly heal. she’s had to carry a lot of guilt and probably feels that blaming Mustapha ( and getting attention) would make her find closure. ( i also feel Mustapha was the one she loved the most and she still does albeit hate, i think she felt he was more of a father figure)

    I follow her on twitter and her major problem is ATTENTION…….she breathes it, writes it and insults it, she lies a lot, insults a lot and feels everyone owes her…… she is very TOXIC. I feel sorry for her and rather it is unfortunate that shes found her self in these predicament….i’ve also read her blog, there is just tooo much hate in her life she needs to get rid of.

    she hates her Dad, hates her Mum, hates her aunties how does she survive? ive noticed that most of her schoolmate dont even identify with her (Loyola) she seems like shes always been a drama queen…

    we have all been taken advantage of at some point in our life relationship or business wise BUT we have weathered the storm!!!

    SUGABELLY if you ever read this FORGIVE YOURSELF.


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