By Brian J. Dennis
They say every dog has its day but for Chinakwe, it will be an unlucky spell of nights as he will spend another in detention for the heinous crime of naming his dog after “he who must not be named” but we must first of all raise our glasses and drink to the fallen dog which was brutally slain for daring to share a name with a god while we pray that his master does not meet the same fate.
The god who rules our nation in all his might and power must remain invincible even when he becomes unpopular everyday. His word must remain law and his name must be worshipped and glorified. One can easily remember that the endless barking of wailers had earlier rendered his ears deaf, little wonder why dogs are his weaknesses.
Buhari is the first dog to be slain, the other dogs have remained in custody even after they were granted bail by the court. Nnamdi Kanu and Sambo Dasuki will not be able to bite the god as long as they are in his cage. There are several other “dogs” which have been caged unjustly by the god for their loud barking, by the dogs (hounds) at the personal service of the god. One particular dog, which was nicknamed the “mad dog” by the goddess had his personal accounts frozen for his endless barking. He however stopped barking and focused on finding food as every other dog would.
The question arises, how many more dogs will face the wrath and fire of the god before we realise that this particular god does not have the patience to deal with dogs as he would deal with cows? This god is not a lover of dogs, one would recall when he threatened that the “dogs and baboons” would bathe in blood…. Well, that pretty much sums it up. But are there different dogs or are all dogs equal in the eyes of the god?
Some dogs (rottweilers) save large chunks of meat from the bones they get paid and are defended by the god while other dogs (bingos) are caged for daring to eat the crumbs that fall from the Master’s table. Some dogs (Alsatians) get dollars at subsidized rates while the Nkitas are left to wallow in the wilderness if they cannot afford the parallel rates.
The god, however, is not totally unemotional towards animals, no. He has an incredible soft spot for cows and of course, the dogs (German shepherds) that guide them. Sometimes these German shepherds can get very violent in their search for new grazing fields for the cows they guide and attack packs of dogs in their kennels resulting in many casualties. But what does the god do? Predictably, Nothing. Well, sometimes he assigns more uniformed dogs to protect the German shepherds and their cows from the bingos who actually need the protection. But hey, the god is never wrong. Even when he is wrong, he is right.
In these dark times, it is important to note that the god is a jealous god, unforgiving and unforgetting and no dog can stand up to him. Stay in your kennels peacefully and do not dare name even your inanimate objects after the god (that would be epic though) if you have puppies to feed.
Already the meat on the bones continue to dry up because of the god’s spiritual economics but do not dare bark, manage the bones no matter how slim they become unless it’s grass you want to start eating. Whatever you do, do not incur the wrath of the god.
Now go back to your usual routine and await the end of the god’s reign, hopefully this god won’t live forever like a certain god in Zimbabwe. It could also be worse, this god could hand over to a god even more glory-deserving and paranoid, and please stop barking, the hounds are watching.
Let the sleeping god lie.
Brian Dennis tweets via @BrianJDennis
Photo: Karsten Winegeart | Unsplash
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